what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
