Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
