i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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