Sry I called you an 8
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
