just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
