Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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