I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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