One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize