i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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