Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
