he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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