if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
