You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
