I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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