Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
why is half of my head shaved?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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