she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
