I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
