I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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