Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
