did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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