totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
