But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
