I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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