So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
