Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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