We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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