Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
