someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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