I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
