Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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