Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
