We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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