he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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