Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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