peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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