So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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