we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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