Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
