dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
