She is in my trunk
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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