problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
