I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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