it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
