You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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