the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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