6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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