i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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