I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
