Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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