I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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