ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
