I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
