I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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