ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
