So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
