conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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