Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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