Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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