You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Randomize
