wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
