I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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