Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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