i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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