I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
