She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
